My Problem…
Every time I am asked something I stop and tell myself “just don’t roll your eyes, don’t roll your eyes, seriously, don’t roll your eyes.” The next thing I see when I look up is my fiancée looking at me with a scowl and like clockwork off in the distance I hear, “ding, ding, Round 1”.
If you haven’t got the point, I have a problem, I subconsciously roll my eyes at nearly everything I see, feel and hear. You may ask, “why is that a big deal?”, and normally I wouldn’t focus on it too much, but lately, I am doing it at nearly everything I see, feel or hear, my fiancée do. As you can imagine, this does not bode well. I have thought of many solutions to my problem and the two I like the most and am currently working on are the “smiling instead” solution and the “internalize your initial response, and have no reaction” solution. Why not just stop, you ask? I wish it were that easy!
If I can smile instead of roll my eyes, no conflict arises, no hurt feelings are created, an emotion of annoyance and frustration is gone, and we live NOT “to fight another day”. I try to explain that it is not intended, it’s an accident. But no matter what the reason for me rolling my eyes, it effects the one I love, and I need to change for her, no, I need to change for us.
If the opportunity to smile is missed or forgotten my second solution to my problem is my backup because, let’s be honest, doing the laundry doesn’t put a smile on many peoples faces. So if I can’t smile to portray happiness, I need to be deadpan and portray nothing. No reaction is better than rolling my eyes at everything, I have tested this in the field and it works.
Since my methods are still a work in progress, all I can inform is that they are working. Now because I know how hard this is, some advice to those in relationships, never make a sign of irritation such as rolling of the eyes a default knee jerk response. I created this long ago and it is unbelievably hard to break. Wish me luck!
Jesse,
I can, like, SOOO relate to this! Like you, I roll my eyes at way too much in this world. You can bet that students don’t like to see me do it, so it has become a lifelong training to just cut it out and be a nicer and more sincere person. I agree that the world is full of ironic idiocies, and eye-rolling is a way we have of distancing ourselves from those. We are saying, “I’m better than that.” But am I? I know I do plenty of things to get my siblings, especially, rolling their eyes and saying, “Oh, brother!”
I support you in this internal and eternal inner struggle!
Sandy
Jessie,
It’s kind of like rubbing your stomach and patting your head and then switch without missing a beat. It’s a talent that needs practice. Good luck!
It’s great to see that you recognize and acknowledge this problem. After being married several years, this is an occurrence that is far too familiar. The work in progress is great, I can only wish my husband would do the same instead of denying it..haha Someday he will understand that it does save argument. The feeling of being disregarded is very frustrating. Good job and keep working on it. It might be a life long battle, but least your aware ;o)